Half of Eight (work in progress)
A logical, mathematical, visual, and lingual, way of looking at the division
of the number eight, by the number two.
Introduction:
Half of Eight is meant to be taken as seriously or as humorously as the reader
wishes. Many of the theories and logic can most likely be disproved. The intent
of this book is to amuse the reader and to get his or her brain tied into
knots, as well as to come up with as many possible answers to the question “What
is half of eight?”. The number eight holds no special significance besides
being the author’s favorite number, and qualifying as a number that
can produce other numbers: 3 when cut vertically down the middle. And 0 when
cut horizontally.
Most of this book was written as a stream of consciousness, with little editing
and or planning. There probably exists a better way to organize all the material
contained in this book, but that was the way it was written.
To Begin Simply
To begin simply, and mathematically, half of eight is equal to four. We are
all familiar with, and used to this, outcome. However, one could argue that
half of eight is 3 or ɛ. 3 is equal to three, naturally. Because ɛ is not
recognized as any number in our number system, we can leave it undefined,
or we can assume it to be a rounder version of E. E is commonly equal to MC²,
which cannot be solved unless we acquire more information. E, being equal
to e, is also commonly referred to as roughly equal to 2.718281. But since
it is a rounder E, it seems only fair that we round its outcome as well: e
˜ 2.71. Another possible case for half of eight is 0 or… 0.
We will come back to some of these possible answers later in this book, but
now we will focus on representing half of eight with words. To start off,
we will make the simplest and most obvious conversion. 8 is equal to “Eight”.
Half of Eight is equal to either Ei + 1/2g, or 1/2g + ht. At this point you
may be wondering what half of g is. We can arrive at a few possible outcomes.
One could divide g visually but he or she would soon discover the answer to
be a non-concrete one, for there are many fonts and ways to write g. One might
suggest that because there is an order to letters (just like numbers), and
g is the 7th letter in our alphabet, that half of it would logically be the
3.5th in the alphabet. As you know, our alphabet only contains whole letters,
unless you count “u” (or “v”) as half of “w”,
or even “n” as some fraction of “m”. So what is the
letter between “c” and “d”? Let us call this imaginary
letter “?”. Now we can safely say that 8 = Ei + 2? + ht.
Many of the outcomes stated earlier will make reappearances, but now it is
time to lend an ear as we half eight aurally. If someone were to say aloud,
“Eight”, a listener would mostly likely identify this vocalization
to represent the number eight, or to represent the word “Ate”.
In both cases, dividing aurally by two would give an auditory answer of “ay”
or “t”. Let us examine dividing up the word Ate. We get A + 1/2t,
or 1/2t + e. Using the same logic as before, half of the 20th letter in the
alphabet is equal to the 10th letter in the alphabet. Ate/2 = A + j.
We could dwell on these new answers, but let us look at dividing Ate physically.
First we must define Ate. Ate is the passed tense of “Eat”, defined
as “To take into the body by the mouth for digestion or absorption”.
Could we say that half of eating is chewing and the other half is swallowing?
This is up for interpretation because the body performs many functions in
the process of eating. The act of eating could easily be broken into much
smaller fractions, if necessary. So to simplify things, let us say that there
are three phases of eating: 1. Not eating yet (0%), 2. Eating (0% < Eating
< 100%), and 3. Not eating anymore (100%). Phase 3 is equal to Ate, because
Ate means that you have eaten but you are not eating anymore, or you are done
eating. Phase 1 is the opposite of Ate. It seems logical that half of the
whole eating process would belong somewhere in Phase 2, most likely when half
of the food is consumed or digested. Therefore, half of Ate ≈ Eating.
We are not going to be diving into what half of Ait (a small island) would
be, since it would be a simple dimensional division problem. We are now going
to focus on the division aurally. If someone were to say aloud, “Two”,
we would get even more possibilities, than “Eight”, of what he
or she was trying to convey. It could be half of “Tutu”, in which
case, 8/2 = 8/(1/2Tutu), which would maybe be "8/tu". It could be a fraction of a countless numbers of
words or sentences, so let us focus on whole words. That eliminates all but
three words: 1. Two, 2. To, and 3, Too.
Mathematically, 8/Two = 4.
However, we are faced with an uneasiness when we try to divide 8 by To. We
must have an understanding of what To means first. One could define To as
“In a direction toward so as to reach”, “To the extent or
degree of”, “With the resultant condition of”, “Before”,
“Until”, and many others. Dividing a number by any of these meanings
and many unmentioned ones, seems far too difficult, if not impossible. But
we can possibly make claims on par with, or in the spirit of, 8/To = -8/From.
More talk about opposites will appear in later chapters.
As a side note, it is charming to know that with partial aural conversion,
8/To = “For”. This “presents” me with a warm feeling
about the number 8 being a generous and giving number.
Dividing by Too is also a hard one to wrap your brain around. Too has
far fewer meanings than To does, so we can feel some ease when using it in
computations. In the case of Too meaning “More than enough”, we
can safely say that 8/Too will never equal approximate infinity in the physical
universe. 8/0 is sometimes approximated as infinity, and 0 can never equal
“More than enough”. 0 can be less than enough, or equal to enough,
but never more, unless we include negative numbers (which we will not, since
we are talking about physical space). 8/Too is never completely definable,
but we know that Too is always a number greater than desired. When Too takes
the meaning of “Also”, again we cannot bring forth a simple definition.
What we do know, is that dividing by Also implies that there is more to the
denominator than just a single number.
Opposites
As mentioned in a previous chapter, opposites are going to be focused on.
One could say the opposite of 8 is -8, and the opposite of 2 is -2. After
all, it is legal in mathematics to say that 8/2 = -8/-2. Although, is the negative
equivalent of a number really its opposite? One could argue that 8 and -8
share many qualities, making it impossible to take the role of opposites.
They are both forms of 8, they are both numbers, and they share other qualities
as well. There are no true opposites in the universe. In order for something
to have a true opposite, its opposite could not exist or else the two things
would have something in common. Even if, by some means, an opposite was discovered,
it would share at least two qualities. The two candidates would share their
complete opposition to each other, and they were both discovered to be opposites.
These cancel out all hope for true opposites. One can possibly get a tiny
bit closer if one discovers Opposite A to have its Opposite B, be opposite,
but have Opposite B, not be Opposite A’s opposite. We can use a symbol
to represent the imaginary opposite of something. Let us use “?”.
? is equal to nothing and cannot be thought about. Writing about it, has already
destroyed its true nature, but we should not feel bad about that, for it does
not exist. It is the imaginary opposite of 8 and 2, as well as anything else
in the universe. Therefore, 8/2 = ?. Before this was written, it was closer
to being true.
When in Rome…
So far we have examined only one system of numbers. But let us not forget
the Roman numeral. The number 8 is equivalent to XIII. If we divide this in
half, visually, we get XI and II (11 and 2). And what about other bases? We
have been working thus far with the decimal system. In binary, the number
8 is equivalent to 1000. One could argue that 8/2 = 500. Any number of bases
could be used to aid in the search for new answers to the question of what
half of eight is.
We have also only looked at infinite linear number systems. Suppose numbers
are finite. Let us say we live in a universe where there are between 2 and
3 of everything, and 7 and 8 of everything. Nothing more and nothing less
exists. The number system would be very short: 2, 3, 7, 8. Dividing 8 by 2
could not be done. There would be no number to represent it. One could say
that 7 < 8/2 > 3, but it is not the most satisfying answer. Or what
about an unstable number systems. Let us suppose that numbers greater than,
or equal to 5, continually grow, while numbers less than 5, continually shrink.
8, being greater than 5, will continually grow. 2, being less than 5, will
continually shrink. 8(growing)/2(shrinking) at time infinity, will be undefined
for the denominator will approach zero. At time’s origin, the answer
will be 4, and will soon shrink for it is less than 5. However, our fraction
will produce larger answers as time goes on. This is a paradox until our division
becomes (8 + 1/3)/(2 – 1/3). This is the turning point at which our
answers turn from shrinking numbers, to growing numbers.
This book has only covered lingual and aural conversion in English. Half of
8 could be represented as “oc” or “ho”, “hu”
or “it”, and many others.
this is a super rough and incomplete version so far...