that's a nice belt.

oh, thanks. uh... it's a karate belt actually.

so, you're a brown belt, i see. is that like a really good belt? i mean, like a high rank or something?

it's the second best color. black is the best.

well, they say brown is the new black. heh heh.

it's not about looks. it's about how well you can defend yourself.

but i'm wearing a brown belt, so we're equal.

yeah, but yours is just an ordinary belt.

it better not be. i paid 24.99 for this belt. how much was yours?

i was awarded this belt for my accomplishments in karate.

so you got it for free?

well, i had to work hard for it.

i wish karate was my job. i'd work for things like new shoes or a new car.

you can only get belts, and skills to protect yourself.

that's lame. you should work somewhere else... like at an aquarium. then you could hang out with fish, and i'm pretty sure they give you actual money when you work there.

okay, so suppose you are carrying around this actual money with you, and some tough guy tries to take it from you. what could fish teach you about defending yourself?

probably nothing. i'd probably shoot them or something.

do you have a gun?

i do. and i'm a good shot.

have you ever shot anybody?

some cans that were asking for it. they said, "please, end it all. we are drained. our lives are empty. we have no more reason to live."

cans don't talk.

well, of course they don't. they don't have mouths.

then how did you know what they were saying?

they weren't saying anything. cans don't talk.

i mean how...?

body language.

body language? how could an immobile cylinder of aluminum make any sort of body language? i mean, a can can't move on its own.

oh, but it could move. in fact, it was a black belt.

a black belt?

it was the best martial artist can in the world.

and you shot it.

all that fame. it couldn't live with constantly being recognized everywhere it went. can you imagine being stopped on the street no matter what you were doing? you could be going to the movies. going to make the last payments on your new car. going to save someone from a burning building. and the you'd get stopped and the person you were trying to save would burn. they'd just burn and there would be nothing left. can you imagine the guilt you'd feel. someone died because you were famous.

this can was a black belt? that's a higher rank than me.

yeah... no, that's not the point...

it was a higher rank than me and you killed it. that makes me sad.

but not as sad as that can. you can rest knowing that nobody burned because of you, unless you become a famous black belt. so you must stop or else you could be just like that can. being stopped everywhere you go. not being able to save that person from the fire in that building. going into a state of guilt and sadness, and then... using body language to have your friend shoot you.