below are the writings i've been jotting down in a sketch book called "spaghetti roller coast". the sketch book contains drawings and ramblings. none of these pieces have any editing. they are just the results of my pencil following my wandering mind. since i hand write in all capitals, the works below are in all capitals. there are still empty pages in the book. inevitably, more writings will appear here.

 

 

 

 

 

THE DATE

OUR FIRST DATE WAS RATHER EXPERIMENTAL. TO AVOID POTENTIAL SMALL TALK, WE HAD AGREED UPON ONLY USING PRE-RECORDED CONVERSATION. WE TOOK TURNS PRESSING THE PLAY BUTTONS ON OUR TAPE RECORDERS, LOOKING DOWN THROUGH OUR SOUPS, THE BOWLS, THE TABLE, AND THE FLOOR OF THE RESTAURANT INTO THE WORLD BUILT BY EACH OTHER'S RECORDED RAMBLINGS. THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THE TWO INDEPENDENT SPEECHES COINCIDED WAS UNCOUNTABLY LOW. EVEN THE SOUNDS OF OUR END-OF-THE-DATE GOODNIGHT KISSES WERE A GOOD TEN MINUTES OUT OF SYNC. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

 

 

AMERICAN SUBURB

TWO BEER-BELLIED DADS FIST-FIGHTING OVER WHO HAS THE BETTER LAWN MOWER.

 

 

READING

I SI TPOSS IBLET ORE ADTH ISSEN TENSEWI THAL LTH ESPA CESPLA CEDI NTH EMID DLEO FTH EWOR DSINST EADO FBET WEENTH EM?

 

 

REVERSE BURGLARY

BROKE INTO A CAR. PUT IN CAR STEREO, FOUR CASSETTE TAPES IN GLOVE COMPARTMENT, AND A BACKPACK FULL OF SCHOOLWORK IN THE BACKSEAT. GOT AWAY CLEAN.

SNUCK INTO HOUSE. LEFT TELEVISION SET IN LIVING ROOM, JEWELRY IN DRAWER, CLEANED UP CLOSET, AND LEFT WALLET ON NIGHT STAND. CAUGHT AND INVITED TO STAY FOR DINNER.

 

 

BUILDINGS POINT UPWARD

THERE ARE VERY FEW BUILDINGS THAT POINT IN DIRECTIONS OTHER THAN UP. I HAVE YET TO SEE A BUILDING THAT POINTS FORWARD AND INCHES ALONG LIKE A CATERPILLAR. I'VE ALSO SPENT COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF TIME NOT WITNESSING A BUILDING THAT LOOPS AROUND AND COMPLETES A CIRCLE. POINTING AT ITSELF, SWALLOWING ITS TAIL, AND DUNKING ITS DOUGHNUT FORM IN THE HUDSON RIVER. SOME BUILDINGS MAY CHOOSE TO UNZIP AND SPLIT APART LIKE A BANANA... WITH A ZIPPER, BUT I HAVE YET TO LAY THESE EYES ON SUCH A SPECTACLE. NO, UNLESS AN EARTHQUAKE HAS HAD HIS OR HER WAY, MOST, IF NOT ALL BUILDINGS POINT UPWARD. WHERE EXACTLY? BEING AN ASTRONOMER, I'LL TELL YOU, "THE SKY.". MAYBE THAT MAKES ME SOMETHING ELSE. HONESTLY I COULD BE TELLING YOU ALL LIES, FOR I AM THE BUILDING THAT POINTS DOWNWARD... JUST KIDDING.

 

 

THE OBSERVATION

EVERYONE'S BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY.

 

 

THE ANIMATOR

SOMETIMES YOU'RE FORCED TO BUILD A MINIATURE IN THE MOST MINIATURE ROOM IN THE HOUSE. SOMETIMES, THAT ROOM HAPPENS TO BE THE BATHROOM. IT'S BECAUSE THE SHELVES ARE A GOOD DISTANCE TO REPRESENT A FLOOR AND A CEILING. OR MAYBE IT HAS THE PERFECT CORNER RIGHT NEAR THE TOILET. SOMETIMES THE SET IS BUILT ON TOP OF THE TOILET AND YOU HAVE TO PEE IN THE SHOWER, UNTIL THE LIGHTING'S RIGHT.

EVEN WORSE: SOMETIMES THE TRIPOD BLOCKS THE DORR SO YOU CAN'T LEAVE TO GET THE NEXT MAGAZINE OF FILM, WHICH IS LEFT IN THE REFRIGERATOR. THE DOOR CAN OPEN JUST ENOUGH TO SQUEEZE IN THE EXTRA FILM, BUT YOUR ROOMMATE IS NOT HOME AND CANNOT HEAR HER PHONE RINGING ANY OF THE THREE TIMES.

AT THIS POINT, YOU CAN EITHER WAIT UNTIL THE ROOMMATE RETURNS, MARK THE TRIPOD'S LEGS WITH TOOTHPASTE AND MOVE IT, OR TRY AND ESCAPE THROUGH THE SECOND STORY WINDOW. THE LAST OF THE THREE OPTIONS IS THE STUPIDEST FOR, EVEN IF YOU MANAGE TO GET DOWN TO THE GROUND WITHOUT BREAKING AN ANKLE, RE-ENTER THE APARTMENT, GET THE FILM FROM THE FRIDGE, AND SQUEEZE IT THROUGH THE REMAINDER OF THE DOORWAY, YOU'LL STILL HAVE TO FIND A WAY BACK INTO THE BATHROOM, WHICH WILL HAVE TO BE BACK THROUGH THE SECOND STORY WINDOW. THIS IS THE DECISION YOU'LL BE GLAD NOT TO HAVE MADE.

THE MOST SENSIBLE OPTION IS OPTION ONE: WAIT IN THE BATHROOM UNTIL YOUR ROOMMATE RETURNS. IT SHOULDN'T TAKE TOO LONG. IT IS A SCHOOL NIGHT. DURING YOUR STAY IN YOUR NEW QUARTERS, YOU CAN FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH ALL THE ITEMS IN THE CABINETS, BRUSH YOUR TEETH, CLIP YOUR TOENAILS, AND LAY ON THE GROUND. WHEN THE ROOMMATE RETURNS, POLITELY ASK HER TO SLIP YOU THE FILM THROUGH THE DOOR.

WHEN SHE LETS YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS NO MORE FILM, YOU CAN PROCEED WITH OPTION TWO: MARKING THE POSITION OF THE TRIPOD LEGS SO THAT THE TRIPOD CAN BE MOVED AND REPOSITIONED.

YOU WILL NOW NEED TO BUY MORE FILM, OR DOUBLE CHECK THE FRIDGE TO DISCOVER THERE IS FILM HIDING BEHIND THE KETCHUP. NOW, AT THIS POINT, IT'S PROBABLY BEST TO TAKE THE REST OF THE NIGHT OFF AND CONTINUE IN THE MORNING. OR, GO TO OPTION THREE AND JUMP OUT THE WINDOW.

 

 

WHITE WALKING MAN

THIS MORNING I WAS CROSSING THE STREET. WAITING FOR THE RED HAND TO TURN WHITE AND GROW A BODY. DO YOU EVER IMAGINE THAT YOU CAN CROSS BETWEEN ITS RED FLASHES? IT'S LIKE RED LIGHT/GREEN LIGHT ONLY IT'S RED LIGHT/NO LIGHT. BEFORE EVEN CONSIDERING PARTICIPATING IN A LIFE THREATENING ACTIVITY LIKE THAT, THE LIGHT HAD CHANGED. THERE'S THAT WHITE MAN. ALWAYS A GOOD ASSOCIATION WITH THAT GUY. ALTHOUGH, I'M GLAD I'M NOT HIM. IT MUST BE LONELY. HE NEVER EVEN GETS TO HANG OUT WITH THE RED HAND. THEY'RE NEVER THERE AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S LIKE THE MORNING SHIFT'S RELATIONSHIP TO THE EVENING SHIFT. IT MUST BE LONELY. SURE THE PEOPLE ON THE STREETS WAIT FOR YOU, BUT AS SOON AS YOU ARRIVE, THEY'RE ONTO THE NEXT THING. IF I WERE IN CHARGE OF MAKING THOSE SIGNS, I WOULD HAVE AT LEAST ADDED A GIRL, MAYBE A CHILD, A DOG, A LITTLE HOUSE. MAYBE A FLASHING GREEN HAND TO SHAKE HANDS WITH THE RED ONE. ON RAINY DAYS, THE WHITE WALKING MAN COULD BE CARRYING AN UMBRELLA. ON REALLY REALLY RAINY DAYS, HE COULD BE IN A SWIMMING POSITION. I CROSSED THE STREET. I LOOKED BACK AND NOTICED THE WHITE WALKING MAN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET. AT LEAST THEY HAD EACH OTHER. THEN THE TWO RED HANDS CAME ON AND FORCEFULLY DISMISSED EACH OTHER... MAYBE THEY WERE WAVING.

 

 

THE TIME MACHINE

IT WAS EXTRAORDINARILY EXCITING TO FINALLY COMPLETE THE BUILDING OF THE TIME MACHINE. LESS EXCITING WAS THE SPEED AT WHICH IT COULD TRAVEL THROUGH TIME: ONE POINT ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO TWO TIMES THE CURRENT SPEED OF THE TIME IN ANY PARTICULAR SPACE. WE CHOSE TO HEAD IN REVERSE RATHER THAN CREEP SLOWLY AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE'S NORMAL PACE. WE PRESSED ENGAGE AND WATCHED OURSELVES DECONSTRUCT THE TIME MACHINE UNTIL IT CEASED OPERATING, AT WHICH POINT WE WERE JUST COMPLETING THE BUILDING OF IT.

 

 

NO ORDINARY SUIT

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NO ORDINARY SUIT. EVEN IF IT LOOKS LIKE AN ORDINARY SUIT. THE CHECKERED NECKTIE REPRESENTS A PENDULUM, CONNECTING EACH SECOND TO THE NEXT ONE. THE RIGHT CUFFLINK IS DOUBLING AS A HUMBLE SUBMARINE, ITS PERISCOPE A FINE TELESCOPE. IT GLEEFULLY POINTS DIRECTLY AT ITS NEIGHBOR: THE LEFT CUFFLINK, WHO NOT ONLY SHRILLS OUT A GIGGLE BECAUSE OF THIS, BUT ALSO BLUSHES AS MUCH AS THE SKY DOES AT SUNSET. THE TROUSERS' ZIPPER IS EQUIPPED WITH A NAIL CLIPPER FOR QUICK AND HIDDEN FINGERNAIL BUSINESS. HANDS FOLDED IN THE LAP CAN SNEAK A QUICK TRIM IN SECRECY. THE SHOES—VERY FINE DRESS FASHION—OPEN UP, THEN SNAP CLOSED AND RE-FASTEN, AS TO SUGGEST A SMACKING OF LIPS READY FOR SNACKING. WITH MEDUSA-HAIR BEHAVIOR, THE LACES REACH FOR TASTY ADJACENTS OF ANY SORT WITHIN THEIR WAVY RADIUS. THE POCKETS ARE MINIATURE COCKPITS HOUSING FLOCKS OF RIGID PILOT PIGEONS. THE SUIT JACKET IS PACKED WITH A GRAPPLING HOOK, A TRAFFIC TICKET, A BOOK OF MATCHES, AND A HEAVY HATCHET. ALL THESE ITEMS CAN BE FOUND IN AN ENCLOSED PACKET ATTACHED TO THE JACKET'S INNER FABRIC. THE SHIRT'S COLLER IS A SMALL RACETRACK FOR GRASSHOPPERS. PLACING BETS WILL KEEP YOUR GUESTS ENTERTAINED LEST DIALOGUE STARTS DIALING WRONG NUMBERS. THIS EXTRAORDINARY SUIT RETAILS AT A NICE PRICE OF SLIGHTLY LESS THAN TWICE AS MUCH AS HALF OF WHAT YOU'RE WILLING TO SPEND AFTER A PAYCHECK.

 

 

I DON'T FEEL LIKE MYSELF

I DON'T FEEL LIKE MYSELF. JUST A COLLAGE OF PIECES OF OTHERS I WANT TO BE.